Today, I was playing with my iphone and my younger brother came in and asked to play with it. I bluntly told him to get stuffed. I went to the toilet and when I went back to my room my iphone was gone. I looked everywhere but couldn\'t find it. Then my little brother came in and ask, \"why doesn\'t the iphone float in the bath? (little brother) youFML
Last weekend, I was at a party and got real drunk and I was hitting on this girl, She told me she was single so I fucked her. Two weeks later this guy jumped me and gave me two black eyes. I guess she had a boyfriend. (lying bitch) youFML