The other day, my boyfriend was almost home from his three week stay with his parents. I wanted to give him a surprise, so I started masturbating with a Popsicle. Unfortunately, it melted inside me. The stick had splinters and now my vagina is sore(Oh) youFML
Today, my girlfriend borrowed my car as she had to go to three interview and didn\'t want to be late. So I took public transport. At work I received a call from my girlfriend saying the car doesn\'t work anymore. At the end, I found out she put diesel fuel in my unleaded car. Now I have to pay 1.2k to clean my engine. FML